It has always been said that he did what he did to me because it was done to him as a child. Which to me translated to "you'll do it one day too". Scared to death that I could actually be a predator, I have always told anyone I ever considered having kids with that I would never bathe my child unsupervised, or have a special bed time with them that lasted more than 5 minutes. Lucky for me, I have an amazing wife & incredible friends that keep be balanced.
Now that a have a son, turns out night time is my time which means I'm usually the one to bathe him. Still, I ask myself every time, how could I possibly betray him like that? I think it's healthy, being that I was a victim, to keep myself in check. I wouldn't want to take the chance. No one would have ever believed that my dad would have done that to me. No one. So why trust me?
Since I am the provider, and she is his biological mom, I can't help but sometimes feel like the dad. I'm afraid to be the dad because the only dad I've ever known was a predator.
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